The Magical Mystery Pants

Khaki PantsThere are times when we are unsure if one of our residents needs to change their clothes because they had an accident.  A few months ago, I had quite the perplexing situation with one of our men, whom I’ll call Dr. Singer.

During our mornings, we hold our Sit and Be Fit exercise activity around 11am, just before lunch.  As we began, I noticed a very small puddle underneath Dr. Singer’s wheelchair.  I wasn’t quite sure how it got there, was it from him, or did someone spill a little water?  I decided to go over and whisper in his ear that I could escort him to the restroom if he needed to use it.  He quietly obliged and nodded his head towards the door, not wanting to make a big scene.

I walk him through the door and about twenty feet to the nearest restroom.  He can walk short distances, so I locked his chair and helped him stand up.  I then held the restroom door open and told him I’d wait outside.  He’s always very jovial, and started to sing to himself as he walked inside.  As the door closed, I turned around and couldn’t believe what I saw in the hall.

Are You Saying I’m Fat?

At the end of a long day, some of our members will get tired and yesterday a woman who has been with us for many years turned to me and said, “Oh, I could just take a nap right now.”  I’ll call her Ms. Montana.

So I told her she looked sleepy, but sitting next to me was another member, let’s call him Dr. Singer, and he said, “You know, if you come visit me in my office, we could diagnose the problem and help you to not be so sleepy.”  Of course, Dr. Singer no longer practices, but often he talks as if he’s still in the prime of his career.  Somtimes he can be a little rude about diagnosing people (”You may have sephilus.”), but today he was very respectable, like an earnest physician that I hope he once was.

“You see, we can do the blood work, and find out what is making you sleepy.  There may be some obesity in the blood.”  I love hearing him talk because he has a  Count Dracula type accent.

Ms. Montana was a little astonished.  “Are you saying I’m fat?!!”